The “dreaded” friendzone

I spend too much time on the Interwebs.

And in that too much time I spend on the Interwebs, I constantly come across images of guys and girls who are not dating, but who are friends.

Some examples:

friend-zone Friendzone-lvl-BEST-DATE-500x474 Welcome-to-the-friendzone-28

I am not going to dissect the images I have included here, mainly because I don’t want to. But the general idea presented in these, and the comments that often accompany them, is that if a guy is friends with a girl without there being any sexy times involved, he is automatically a loser for getting close to her without any physical payoff.

Like there is no value in having female friends. That mixed-sex friendships without any hanky-panky are worthless.

Frankly, that mindset really bothers me.

I have a large number of female friends. In fact, my best friend is a woman. She’s married. We have spoken on the phone a lot since I moved away from home. I make it my mission to see her when I go home. Our friendship now outstrips any feelings I had for her when we were younger. And they were strong feelings. But that was over 10 years ago, and we’ve moved past that.

Then, the only friend from home who has come to visit me since I moved out here, and whom I have visited at the parental units’, is a woman. She, too, is married. But you know what matters more to me? The fact I have someone from home whom I can visit with on occasion. She’s a link to my past, and I value any time we have together.

Now, I’m sure many of you reading this are going to chastise me for wasting my time with women I have no shot with. To that I say, “so what?” What does it matter what I do with my relationships? Why should I care if you think I’m some weak, wussy, sad excuse for a man?

I say it’s perfectly normal for men and women, boys and girls, etc. to be friends without sex being part of the equation.

Friendzone? More like “I’m mature enough to be friends without expecting something in return.”

I lied. I do expect them to be available emotionally if needed. After all, I’m there for them.

Advertisements